Ne Volez Pas Musique

6.30 and i WILL do the following:

NO COMPUTER
NO TV
NO NAPS
NO FRIED FOOD
STUDYSTUDYSTUDY
SAVE MONEY WHICH MEANS BRINGING FOOD TO SCHOOL
NO GOING OUTS
.
.
.



On and on. like cheeseburger to big mac.. MMmmmm..

I am a fighter and I
(I'm a fighter)
I ain't gonna stop
(I ain't gonna stop)
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter





i miss my dad and mum and ahma. havent seen them for a week. Holidays seem fun doesn't it :/

these few days seem to be thinking way too much, becoming way too lazy. seems like i put all my worries behind by just sleeping.Blame me for not spending enough time with God. well, the month's ending, nights are getting longer. mid-years syf...

plans maybe,
think about it later or not.

ho-humm...


suddenly occur to me that i need you to just be there. make me feel myself again. maybe i havent discovered how much i need God yet. Time just keep going doesnt it...

God.

I dont know much Him. willing to learn. maybe is not the question.

just take a little nap?
when will i finally feel secure..

Glasgow Love Theme brings tears to my eyes honestly. I miss my parents. How i miss them. I miss my pendant. I miss Gods deep presence in me. I miss talking to people that really understands me...

maybe i should just take a nap, what if i wont wake up.

Insecurity threatens my confused state of mind, leaving traces of blank stares and rather loud tappings of the keys of the keyboard.haha ..

no more music. I do need a nap. First thing after that. read Bible stuff.



); Just forget it.



x) missed that quixotic side of me.



Damn. My last curse for the month i promise.

Don't worry baby
You're gonna be just fine

well all four of us set on the dining table. It was Silent.

I told them the exciting news. They made fun. They mocked and insulted. Silence grew.




' Don't look back, just keep on running. '



it was hard catching my breath. Ambivience surged forward, surrounded the perpetual silence.

And they left. Silence dissipated. My throat was sore and my heart was trembling. The effect was magnified with the chill of the wind creeping up my skin, spreading like a virus. I coughed and I choked.

But,I had lost the battle.

... Again left unappreciated.




















I hated all four of them. Just for one day. Just for this minute.

This goes out to her:

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Just have faith my dear! ((:

This goes out to me:

Don't ever look back and wonder 'what if'. You've got a dream, right? And if you've got the plan, so what are you waiting for?



aims for the month:
1) new haircut
2( contacts
3) jog regularly
4( Sing HIS praises
5) Mug hard HARD
6( practise hard for piano/flute
7) Get a corgi?
8( Read chinese and english book alternatively
9) save money
10( Have faith in God, cause miracles are bound to happen!


You say too late to start, got your heart in a headlock,
I don't believe any of it.
You say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock,
You know your better than this.

-JIA YOU!-

well, its unavoidable, but, yet remarkable.

me. (:

Things that happened: Everything

i will be leaving. Goodbye.

things that happened:

everything.

but i will be leaving.

this especially goes out to Evelyn for what happened today:

' THANKS FOR EVERYTHING! I LOVE YA! EVELYN ROCKS A MILLION!! '

except that i still owe her money$$$. oh man.. must stop wasting money liao. but instead go save money...dunno whether i should go for buffet leh..thinkthink..treating people is like expensive. Now i am like dead broke. Soo yah..

anyway..thanx for the earings. THEY ROCK! the shirt: Really never would have bought it if you hadn't suggest it to me. Yoshinoya: nice food lah( but latergot stomach ache)

yupyup, soo thanks. lovelovelovelove<3

okok. soo looking forward to my birthdday..but must miss band lah. it falls on my birthday, But i got reason i think..only a day spent with parents? (but weekend soo busy)..soo im not too sure. Just pray to God For a Miracle.

(pray for Daphne who is currently injured)

hmm..okok.. soo maybe i got a few ideas of gifts brewing on my head.

BREW//

1) CONTACTS!!
-achieved if it is a birthday present from someone. Me paying like half or something.
2) Cool funky short hair
-maybe shoulder length but definately a change in fringe.. Anything that suits me
3) HEELS!!
- just nice/okay lah type of shoes. but like one in kovan. Bout 40. But neh, Bad bargaain! HAAHA
4) Definate clear of all HORRIBLE pimples
- will consult somt pharmicist, but also cannot be lazy lah
5) good results for e maths and social studies.. BETTER start mugging now. Or else too late.. Must impress parents to get presents lah.
6)GET WHITER!!!
-that means no going out to super hot places, And buying cream..(dont think will work also lah)

Actually nothing much..All i want is just a hug. REally. A hug from anyone and a wish to me- happy birthday- would be great. Just A GREAT BIG BEAR HUG! Literally . I like those, cos you can really feel the love tingling all over you. I MEAN IT!

i just want to feel loved. That can also mean the best present.
But i still want those above lah..Hehe.



just a thought:
- mr aw: should learn to hear complaints and take it into account. Not Rush.
- mr tan: getting abit too drama. Not too much. Just enough is already good enough. Can feel awakened.
-ms liu: be more strict. And talk louder. Also listen to complaints.
-mdm sarifah : NEVER MATCH AND MATCH. seriously out of fashion.
-chem teacher : up till now forget your name. BUT PLEASE CAN YOU HAVE THE MORE ENTU face. and explain!!
-physics: good and funny teacher. But maybe abit more of easier exercises to get our basics
-history: WHERE ARE YOU!!!???!!!
-SS: relac abit lah. Actually we are good students. But just not too much pressure lah

thats about all.
yesterday professer came. His playing rox. Im damn jealous. But i want him to go talent scout us leh. THEN WE CAN GO AUUZIE OR WHATEVER! haha.lmao

ohyah! MY CHEMISTRY TEST!

I Got alot of things to comment. But i think-forget it lah-
fyi im supposed to get 26!!!

anyway- nothing to comment!! but yah-


Love is actually all around.

:)

I am literally being stalked by some freaky guy from the fillipines.


OHMY! he like keep smsing me, calling me. I don't even dare to answer the phone. Now i know i must never talk to strangers. Especially overseas people. I am soo freaked out! i'm going insane ! AHHH!!! what is the world coming to..????

anyways, I came back from school like on wednesday sia, sat down and waited. Then got this lady who sat beside me. Believe it or not, She actaully shoved my bag and sat her seat comfortably. i mean. WTH! on that very day i wrote on my journal writing on how Singaporeans get an 'F' for courtesy.

Somemore on thursday, i went up to the bus and wait for jong lian in front ..then suddenly the doors closed behind me and my bag got stuck! AHHH! then the stupid uncle bus driver just stood there..dont care lidat. ARGH! finally after he noiced his stupid mistake, i fel soo embarassed lor. Everybody looking at me. Wahlau! i'm am like soo sick lor! ARGH!!Now i have proven my point, i feel soo Angry and retarded. Singaporeans typically DO deserve a big fat F9 for that. Or mayb even a negative A1!!

I believe i am not the minority of singaporeans UNLIKE them.

Damn.

finish reading 'authobiography of a one-year-old'. It is a great book to begin with. Not too difficult to comprehend. But full of laughter, excitement and joy all book round. Haha.

fist week of the holiday, homework homework homework. PLease lah! first day already must hand up. Bleh. But it does prove that we are unlike primary school kids anymore.

oh man. Miss the good ol' days.
Hhe. can't rmb what happened this week. But i am like more study and concerntrate in class. YAY! then friday went swimming with evelynand yah! it was hot. I was tanned man. Haha. But yup. i think me and evlyn made a pact to have badminton and swimming alternatly this friday. Haha. Invite more friends too .. then thought of taking of dancing class. Seriously i want lor..haha

still considering whether i should join the sws. Don't know why i should'nt come..dunoo lah..
Will stop for now, 22 more days before my birthday. Must save up for treat yah! still pondering..


prayin for a miracle! waiting soo long...really want a makeover. My hair lah. I also want to be more risky, more sociable. So yah! then maybe i shouldnt be afraid. I really shouldnt. Why should I. I will do some self-reflection

judicious--> sensible.
Comment yah! and i will tag yours! yay!

Hamlet reckoned that rest is silence.

-fin-

First day kana scolded by malvin lim. Yahayh! i neve do homework lah! first day of school already soo jialaht.bleh. Even evelyn class is good lor. Never do also dont need stay back. Haha.

uhm. stayed back later. Damn. Rushing to finish homework. Then go home. Thinking. Self-reflection.

Today morning is stupid lor
the clock was like siao lor. Nobody told me the clock was half an hour late. Damn. I woke up. Then got up. Look at time. 5.15a.m.. thought :
-siao maid wake me up soo early-

then wash up. sis leave at 6pm. thought:
-siao leave soo early-

then dad left at 6.15
-siao soo early for what..-

then i wait ..thought:

-hw come soo bright? only 6.30-
then take own sweet time..wait the maid say:
- u will be late!-

then i told her still early wad. Then i realized clock spoil. Hahaa.lamo.
then alreay 7.05
haha late..bus pretty fast lah.

whole day lesson. Damn tired. Sleepy. Bored.Haaha. fa zhan.

yup.
first day of my nightmare. boogey man will come tonight.

BOOGEY_BOOGEY_BOOGEY!!!

haha
sunday missed church. damn tired, then somemore soo much homework. Chiong..
went to band. Stupid green line soo long. Lame. Played FFX. Damn hard lor. Soo many flats. All the running notes. I was soo weird.
Then sandy was sick. and i had to play. I was kinda afraid. Don't know why. I crumpled up. Yah. maybe its tze huans flute or something ( not xi guan). It was pretty obvious. Oh man.

Then realized Evelyn's clarinet section talktalktalk. like quite close leh. flute is like damn quiet lor. Sad sia. Then only our second day. Evelyn was like soo close to damn. Like known them for dunno how long,. I was like sad. Wished that flute also lidat. ARGH! wwho ask me never ask for their number or msn. ARGH! haha. Cos i communicate better in msn then verbally. I think. Dunno lah

NEED OPINIONS!!!

Don't know why i keep thinking bout my hair when it is ok lor. HAaha. But i want contacts. So im gonna try to do well in my upcoming test and birthday!!! AHHHH!!! need..need..contacts .hahaha.

Contacts man! CONTACTS MAN! mayb can pei evelyn go check optimist. Check my degree. Haha. At least contacts can train me to not be lazy. Yup. Soo yah. not only want to look good, but have self-discipline. Yup!!


I love myself- planning to finish all my homework EXCEPT chinese today sia!
yupyup
lahlahlah. Need all the support from everybody. My friends, family and God!
haha. corrective actions to improve myself.
must call the bedazzle acting crap and the dance lesson. Join sheilas class too yah..haha
yup. All the best to me!

I LOVE YA WEN!

i love others to lah! haha. Mayb every week name one. YAY!!

updating my profile! go read sia!i type with my precious delicate amazing talented fingers of mine. Thank God! Yepyep. mayb i may join charis in chem class.ask her first.

miracles to happen:
1) call bedazzled (acting class)
2) call dancing class
3) join sheilas class
4) more info on chem lesson
5) do well in upcoming tests
6) save money
7) join in the SWSYB and bring home scores
8) ask seniors for msn and number
9) Fall in Love
10) make more friends/good friends
11) wonderful birthday

_some not really miracles_

maybe singlehood rocks?!? haha/ living such a fragile life


Love yahs!

Hmm.. many things happened last time sia. soo much to write. So little time. THIS ALSO APPLIES TO MY HOMEWORK!!AHH!!KILL MOE!!!

haha.okok. lets see..

today was uhm. tired. Did not go to ethel's house. Wnated to stay at home and do homework. Turns out. I was too busy sufing the net. Sads sia.. morning went to sakae sushi. Ate stuff.haha. the food at cp can say its okay lah. then go royal sporting house. Mom bought swimming costume.Hehe. Wanted to buy shorts. Doesn't have much of an array. then. blahblahlblah. went home to study. did abit of geog..surfsurfsurf. yah. And watched pink panther. Damn funny. Lousy plot though.Haha.

Damn tired. Okok. Why should i write about the past?

then firday went to sentosa with parents. Did the go kart thingy. haha. i keep pushing the brake.haha. Badbad. Then got soo many super jap people.bleh. Haha. Then wtach the 4d pirate show. Ok lah. But yah! first time eit on $20,000 chair. soo many effects. My leg damn pain lor. Haha. then after that went to chinatown. Eat a few stuff. Prawns and stuff. and walk around. Thinking of buying shoes. Saw this shop selling like dunno how many mountains of shoes. Too bad they are like sold at retail price. Boohoo. Turned down My church friends. Sorry Shao Yi, Bernard, Yan Bing, Yang Ling( soo far can rmb all these names) haha. Soorry lah. I'm really bad at china-names. Yup. Heard it was fun. But before that. I learnt a lesson

1. Never act Despo/ be independent
Seriously it doesn't work. Like asking people like last minute whether they are free and something. Nah. Of course not. I did that and everyone was busy. Yahyah. So then i think i kinda backed out abit. But why should I? Got gave me this GREAT opportunity to have fun with friends, and just jostle around. Now i know, Sometimes we humans have to learn how to be independent. Sometime different and good may be just beside you. Just waiting to explode in front of your face. Then u will say' Thank God that I'm here' .Don't need paiseh one! its alright. I learnt this and now, I truely understand. But its over.

2. Nobody's perfect
Some people may say bad stuff behind poeple's back. So what!?! why should I believe you. I learn never to take things too easily. Fall prey to. A particular incident happened a few days back. Haha. I learn to treasure friendship better. I read in somebodys journal that why should we be popular! WHY? to make ourselves feel great Have power. Be well knowned. No, I don't think soo. I prefer true friendship. I don't care if u have more friends. Its the quality not quantity for chrst sake! Some people may have hurt you, made you feel like the smallest person alive. But i say No. No we shouldnt take into a great account, just forget it. (okay i'm going out of point already) So yah, my point is always treasure your friendship and treat them equally as no one is perfect.

3. Risk
I went to Evelyn to the Singapore Wind Symphony youth band last sunday. Was overwhelmed by the quality of their skill. The musicians there i mean. But i was abit blur. And ulu pandan is super far away. Yup. So theni just sat in. Wasn't really welcomed. Was kinda ignored abit. I think. Sad.. But i prevailed. So we played Princess Mononoke, Kingdom heatrs overture and the incredibles. It was soo cool lor. It is sight reading.The peices were kinda hard. But with much practice i kinda got the hang of it yah. Met 3 seniors- faerie, sandy and joeven. No offense but i thought joeven was a girl. Yup. So i just try to act cool. Wasn't like being talk to much. Pretty much just listen to the conductor. But i thought, it was only the first day, so i cant judge like that. In fact, I shouldnt judge at all. The across the room. Saw evelyn. Can say she sat with 2 guys haha talking and like helping her alot. I didn't get much help. And according to Evelyn, behind her the trumpeters were 'shuai' haha. Don't know about that. But haha. i did'nt really notice. Then yup. there was this flute solo and like i was kinda sad. I was also in 2nd flute cos usually im used to playing the high notes. Haha. its like band all over again. Being lead not leading. haha. but who cares. After band we were required to fill in this form where they ask you whether u want to join the band. We were unsure soo we did not fill up. (actually i wanted to lah.haha) Then later ate at KFC! chatchatchat. Then yup take neoprint with instrument. I think my flute was abit black after that stupid neoprint. Bleh. Then we considered.

On monday uhm. I dont think much happened. Couldnt remember. Haha. Tuesday went to band. there was the Holy innocent High secondary school band came . Haaha. Yup whole day taught foot drills. Mine sucked. We were lead by a trumpeter- Dawn. Haha. Lucky us. I think. Learnt a few stuff. The guys over there nothing much to look at sia. Haha. i think only 2-3 guys. The Drum major, The undergraduate and some other. Yup we trained hard and i think every month they will pay us a visit. Check up on our progress or something. Haha. But after that they were kinda friendly i think .haha. So went home that day, exhausted, then slept.

Wednesday Met up with Ethel in the morning to brush up her singing skills. Sunday was the big day. Unfortunately only that beautiful sunny day i was free in the morning. So yup. She changed her song to never had a dream come true. Aha. Lucky for her. Cos sometimes is really hard. haha. Yup and soo tommorrow i will meet up with her. Go over the lines or something. I got a lift from her mum. But i think next time i dont know. Cos expo is like super far. haha. THen after helping ethel. I met with charis and got to bugis. Saw alot of cute stuff. talktalktalk. She shared some personal stuff with me. Haha. I insanely wanted her to confess yah.Haha. Then yup heard the sad truth sia. So then i saw this REALLY CUT BIG 'nightmare before christmas' ghost dog. That i have been hunting down for like centuries! I actually was right in front of it! it was $35 bucks. Damn. Sad sia. But i wanted it soo bad. For my birthday. So i asked charis and she offered to buy for me sia. Haha

I LOVE YOU PATRICK!

so yup. we were short of cash. And she wanted to borrow from me. So i was like yeah. Then we took neoprint. The machine is like damn lousy lor. Only 4 shots. It turned out ug;y. Then the other machine was okay lah. $11 bucks. Damn. But the pictures were good. Were like bright. And i took off my glasses and yup. My eyes were okay lah. I liked how i looked haha. Then later ther was not enough time. Charis had to rush off to chuch in like 15 minutes. And we had to go to orchard to return the money. Yah soo i was kinda poor. So we then rudh here and there and charis was late. It was really a funny adventure. Haha. But charis was soo willing to help me get that toy for me. Haha. Even if she was to pay the consequences. Thanx charis ALOT!

thursday:
There was band again . As usual. yup soo got to sch on time. Damn early lor. thenuhm. mr ng did not go the whole day. Sad sia. Denise is like damn sad lor. I really pity her leh. MR NG! somemore we also must ask him something. Wahalau. So like whole day sectional..I was not that great as a SL! i not strict lah. I dunno lah. Will reflect lah. Then my solo was ok. I wasn't as much afraid. But i showed more confidence. THANKED GOD!! yupyup. soo yup.
last sunday went to charis church. met a few people. Learnt stuff. Got some guys shuai! haaha. Lamo. Yup was kinda influenced. But after much consultation. I was rewarded with wisdom.


School is starting soon. My homework not finish. Will finish one lah. Haha. Want to cut my hair. mayb .. dunno lah. Will considereing. Need my friends help to lor.haha..okok.i sound very singlish. haha..

I'm still praying for a miracle. But now must concerntrate on school. Will call some courses yah! help people help myself. So yup!
I just lift my hand and pray!

AHH!!! there can be miracles. When u believe..

My birthday is around the corner. 22/07. Solid sia. Don't ask much. Just my friends there. And i want a hug from them too yah! haha must start saving money liao. Damn broke. Bleh.


Thanx for the people for commenting sia! I will tag you! haha..


Where force is necessary, one should make use of it boldly, resolutely and right to the end.

But it is as well to know the limitations of force; to know where to combine force with maneuver, assault with conciliation.
- trotsky

yup read a book. Damn cute!
Chim.. But try to understand.

( spelling errors - damn lazy check. Watching 'From Hell' now. )

MIracles// Love me.

Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough (Say it again)
Ain't no river wild enough

- Diana Ross

Ain't gonna complain. Aint gonna ponder over it. Nonono.
This time is for real. I'm taking risks like i have never risked before. Maybe i should start playing Risk. HAHAHA.



This time is for real. I'm practically finding ways to improve my life. Use action! Talk is cheap. PAP!lol.

Bless- to be empowered.

last week was not good. Had to do 257 pumpings for no absolute reason. I clearly stated that i had to wait for my friend. Too bad they did not buy that. Stupid rain. I was early for band lor! Just blame God's creation- the rain. Then during band had to do my solo for like more than 5 times i think. At the end of the day, my hands were shaking like siao lorr..shakeshake. Horrible. Nervouse Reaction.
I tried to stop it. Did not work.

Sunday went to City Harvest Church. Met pretty nice people over there. Always reassuring me.haha. Church people are usually very nice people. Met someone. A friend. Super nice. Super cute. Haha. Thanks.
had to go home early for piano. then realized piano postponed. haha. So went to uncle's house see Grace Jiejie's baby. Cut. Small .haha




this week must try to finish my homework. I'm soo damn lazy. Still working on Geography. Tiring leh. Writing stupid essays. On and on..


Pigs Will fly. I TELL YOU! PIGS WILL FLY!! soo far many friends went overseas. Many friends came back. Me?

i'm just gonna stay home and try to clear my wardrobe or something..NEW TERM! NEW RESOLUTION!
haha.

Looking forward to Sunday, Saturday and Friday. It's risky. But who cares. I don't care if I don't know anybody. I don't care if I lose out. But what that doesn'y kills me, will only make me stronger.

so my point: Risk.

Lose yourself. You only have one shot. Don not miss your chance to blow. opportunity comes once in a lifetime.

- the real slim shady.



If u scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
If u comment on my blog, I'll tag yours.

hehe. Cocky.
:)



Perception is reality.

Sad. My theory exam not even a merit. Sonofagun. I can't believe it. just 3 MORE MARKS!! AHHH!!! haha. try harder for this year practical!! woohoo!!

today. met audrey in the morning..it was soo darn cold and rainy. hehe. So went to guardian: bought

1) Pimple cream gel $4.05
2) Nail buffer $2.00
3) Whightening crap cream $2.00

soo total was like: $8.05

then sushi:
$2.00

haha. then later met aud..talktalktalk. then saw joan, me yi, and someone. haha i forgot. later go burger king eat..met jia min, ethel, sherilyn..talktalktalk....
then bought a key chain: $2.00
haha..wth..got a not soo fantastic NOT UGLY toy..waste money..watever...
then later.. go to sch. kinda got lost. then went up.. first thing..pumpings 30!!haha. fine. new policies..recruits..
haah
then realized that my junior..is from like taiwan.. don't understand english..so i thought..i'm gonna die..i hate chinese..i mean COME ON!! my cinese sucks the hell outta me..and yah..HOW AM I GONNA SPEAK.

which then brings me back to the past.'

had this really best friend..she really was my best friend.well.mayb i had two. but i made the other one cry cos something happened..can't rmb..but yah. my best friend was yen ting..then yah..we were soo close until it happened. she had to leave taiwan for her further education. And she hugged me!! SHE HUGGED ME!! it was such a strong hug that i think i cried..I loved her soo much. but she had to go..soo yah..my sad sad life story..but i really miss her..boo hhooo..

BACK TO REALITY!!

went for band till the end of the day..yahyah..i survived my junior !wheesh!! haha! i'm great..then goo home and got scolded by dad..say my hp bills are high..fine.

yay!!looking forward for tmr!! wonder whats my surprise..

anywayz. need to save uplike big bucks..treating my ggod friends to lunch..haha..soo many groups..1,2,3,4..lost count..think bout it..WOOHHOOO!!!my birthdays soo near

48 days to goo!yay me!!!

also looking forward to the other on friday...wahaha!! swimming..but i'm fat..wahaha.
ohman
butt fat!!whhops..anyways..mayb can just relax..aud ca't make it..ya wen can't hmm..ask other people..

10pm soo late already
gotta turn in!!!

God night.
GOD BLESS!!


perception is reality.

heyheyx. mayb i'm gonna get a blog and abandon livejournal.haaha..sads yah!! but i just wann change lah

funfun!! always on the run for risks! Realized that my old old frineds no longer in contact..Wahahaa. yahyah. Watever lah..WOOT!!

today surf com the whole day.. think i got into abit of trouble..but yah.. I SURVIVED..ahhaahhahhahaa..ook. soo mayb i'm slacking..but gonna do work tonite okay!!!haha..

my birthday is in 49 days!! woohoo. I don't know what i want though. But mayb give my beloved friends a treat!!see iam a nice person..thankyou.


tmr got band. mayb meet aud b4..gonna be soo bored..

I will get my blog mayb this week.Ahaha.
BB!!
AND GOD BLESS!!!

Oh please. Can't you be damn much more! Can't you just.. AAARRRGGGHHH!!

Thats it. I am not gonna waste my precious little time on you. YOU ARE NOT EVEN LISTENING! NOT WORTH IT I TELL YOU.

Oh man i'm going bonkas, out of my head. CRAZY AHAH-AHAH!!Even my dream is stealing my sleep. Phft. I keep telling myself to move on girl! haiz. Praying for a miracle. Just yearning for one. I missed that chance, I tried again but I fell. I FELL!!!(not literally)

okok. So far i manged to finish at least one. But come on..with patience. i can finish it it no time.HAAH..with God on my side! oh man! For me- just do it.



today went to J8 eat lunch. Ramen. The beef noodle seems pretty cool.haha. Then shopshop. Got dunno one singer called raine or something. Then got dunno how long the queue. HAha. But she does'nt look that pretty. All the makeup cover her face!haha.
then later go home and then go tampiness play badminton!!weehee. Soo long never play. Cna say i did improve.haha.played with aunties . YAY i won!!haha.but nevertheless my uncle helped too..hmm mayb one day must book court with friends.

Soo now at home. Wish my chilli crab was her. Hmmmm..chilli crab......haha okay watever. So far my plan failed. I thought but i thought wrong. So now.. Moveing on ta phase two. Wait.

If only . If only.





When He rolls up His sleeves
He ain't just putting on the ritz
(Our God is an awesome God)

There's thunder in His footsteps
And lightning in His fists
(Our God is an awesome God)

And the Lord wasn't joking
When He kicked 'em out of Eden
It wasn't for no reason
That He shed His blood
His return is very close
And so you better be believing that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

And when the sky was starless
In the void of the night
(Our God is an awesome God)

He spoke into the darkness
And created the light
(Our God is an awesome God)

Judgement and wrath He poured out on the Sodom
Mercy and grace He gave us at the cross
I hope that you have not
Too quickly forgotten that
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
He reigns from heaven above
With wisdom, power, and love
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God (Our God is an awesome God)
He reigns from heaven above (He reigns from heaven above)
With wisdom, power, and love (With wisdom, power, and love)
Our God is an awesome God

Our God is an awesome God
Our God is an awesome God




Praise God. Because he loves you!

:)

IT

is everthing. True love, many friends, Talented.
which also was started from a cause..all ponting in the direction

of me.

Oh man, I always wonder when will i ever be daring! speak up. Be really a cool and popular person in school. But i should just be myself. Divided into 2 categories. The DARE TO TRY and the AIYAH WTH type of person. Currently i'm the 2nd one. But i really wish to change my next jc. Or something. I always hated life. Thought it sucked. Which also means that i hate myself. haha. But i don't hate God. I mean sometimes though. But i always ask myself this question: why?


Okay I did start somewhere. I did research. But soo far. Zilch nothing.All my hard work all lost. Just because i was scared. i did have a small little crush on that person. But now. What for, he's popular, smart, cute, abit dao. Soo how? well i did try . But mayb being too honest isn't much of a guideline. Well, maybe thats not God's will. God's will for me I mean. Haiz, but i will still wait. So now i just wanna focus on my studies. Maybe attend church. Make friends. Admit my mistakes. Patch up failed relationships.Hmm. but i can try.

I wanna go for that model thing. i wanna risk. And i also wanna go for that new face newspaper. Be ambitious. Mayb audition. HAHA! and i needa exercise man. Needa have stamina. And i know someone who I think is willing to help me after I have paid my debts/expenses to her. I will SAY IT OUT LOUD! ETHEL! the person which i have a long had as a best friend. And regarded me as one. Haha. Now i must listen to myself. Be independent. Risk. if only she'd forgive me.

This time i do my own decision. Only my parents can boss me around.haah.

Haha. Wish somebody comment on this.
I'll make a chcklist. ASAP. haha. i must.this is for me to change man..

1. Go for that i models thing.
2. Smile always. But not too much.
3. Go for the new paper thingy.
4. Try persuading parents to get contact lens on my birthday.
5. Patch up my friendship with ethel. At all cost.
6. Read the news everyday.
7. Try doing my homework. At least one.
8. Plan a meeting for jogging sessions.
9. Try tagging friends board when i visit.
10. Always look straight. And not down. Smile if u hve to.


10 commandments. Me alone. hehe should try reading my bible too. Woot. Visit church!! I need all the support i can gather from my beloved friends.


God loves me! I love myself!

if only..Ah. forget it... the more i talk about it. the more i feel like killing myself.

Alot of terrible unfortunate things happened to me. First him, then my friends, then my heart. I can actually feel my heart breaking slowly. I wish i had some kind of ability - a lie detector. I don't know who is telling the truth. I dont know who is lying all the way. But I can see why.

I'm weak.Even my mom says so. I emotional. Lazy. And just too nice. If you know me, you would say im nice. Mayb too nice. Believe me i've heard that alot. I'm just too nice until i can't take control of my feelings. So thats how people push me around. Lie to me. Hurt me knowing that i won't hurt you back. This is called not having a mind of my own. Weak. A perfect word to describe me.

I made many bad decisions lately. So now im back to square 1. the sq in which everything is bleak. The future is short. Studies come first. blahblahblah. what the heck.

so.. if hes reading this now. let me say this.

I will not be accepting any more corrections to this song
If you do have a correction please specify where
the problem is and in what verse.

I wanna be with you, Gotta be with you, Need to be with you
I wanna be with you, Gotta be with you, Need to be with you

[1st Verse:]
Chemistry was crazy from the get go
Neither one of us knew why
We didn't build nothin' over night
Cause a love like this takes some time
People swore it off as a phase said "We can't see that"
Now top from bottom they see that we did that(Yes)
It's so true that (Yes)
We've been through it(Yes)
We got real sh.. (Yes)
See, baby we've been

[Chorus:]
Too strong, for too long
And I can't be without you baby
And I'll be waitin' up untill you get home
Cause I can't sleep without you baby
Anybody who's ever loved you knows just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, Nothin' can replace it
Call the radio, If you just can't be without your baby

[2nd Verse:]
I got a question for ya
See, I already know the answer
But still I wanna ask you
Would you lie? (No)
Make me cry? (No)
Do somethin' behind my back and then try to cover it up?
Well, neither would I baby, my love is on the up and up(Yes)
I'll be faithful (Yes)
I'm for real (Yes)
And with us you'll always know the deal
We've been

[Chorus:]
Too strong, for too long
And I can't be without you baby
And I'll Be waitin' up untill you get home
Cause I can't sleep without you baby
Anybody whose ever loved you knows just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, Nothin' can replace it
Call the radio, If you just can't be without your baby

[Bridge:]
See, this is real talk
I'm gon' always stay (No matter what)
Good or bad (Thick and thin)
Right or wrong (All day everyday)
Now, if you're down on love
Or don't believe this aint for you (No this aint for you)
And if you got it deep in your heart
Deep down You know that it's true
(Come on, come on, come on)

Well,let me see you
Put your hands up (Hands up)
Fellas tell your ladies she's the one
(Fellas tell your ladies she's the one)
Oh put your hands up (Hands up)
Ladies, let him know he's got your love
Look him right in his eyes and tell him we've been

[Chorus:]
Too strong, for too long
And I can't be without you baby
And I'll Be waitin' up untill you get home
Cause I can't sleep Without you baby
Anybody whose ever loved you knows just what I feel
Too hard to fake it, Nothin' can replace it
Call the radio, If you just can't be without your baby

Heyyyyyyyyyy...ohhhhhhh(2x)

Vamp:
I wanna be with you
Gotta be with you
Need to be with you

believe me i did fall for you. But we have to move on right now. Mayb i wasnt really ready or something. So i respect ur decision. Mayb that special person can bring u happiness. That choir girl. I give u my blessing. Oh can i pleaseplease have that tpjc choir?as my last request.P.S this song lyrics from mary j blige-be without you.

well. I just gonna pray to God. And mayb i find someone else special. Haiz why should i find. I just need to depend on Gods will..God I love you.

Needa start doing homework liao..haha. gtg.

( SORRY TO THOSE WHO WERE INVOLVED AFTER THE TPJC CONCERT )

England all the way! WIth the worlds finest players Lampard, Gerrad, Cole, Beckhem, James, Rooney, Owen....More and more!!!!yaya.. but the other hand on brazil and argentina too ..Dont know, cant make up my mind..

Lampard Scores! Xp

YAY! ... Me finaaly watch Fraiser. The whole first season. Boo! ... Tmr have band. Many sec2 not going. In fact all of them. Gonna be a b-o-r-i-n-g day.tmr.. looking forward to wednesday. TPJC with vocal consort as guest cjoir.hohoho. problem is getting in is the hard part. No money. No secrets. NONONO. A big black horse and a cherry tree. Woo-Hoo.

too bad my journal dont have that chatterbox .. The post short messages that they have on like all blogs..dont know whether should change . Cos soo far alot of people have. And like need to tell others and stuff/\. I don't even nkow how to make. Just need Someone to help me and teach me. Or something.

today was bored. Everybody is busy. And I was bored at home. Practiced Piano. Morning went out. Sorry Charisfor not going with you. And likewise..Sometimes we mus learn to take life as it is. Be independent as you can't depend on ypur friends anymore. I did that and yah. I made new friends incidently. Thank God For that miracle.

YAY my popeye chicken wings are here. They are much nicer than kfc!yuppee.
Gonna eat and watch desperate housewives now. ALLEHOO!!

* sorry charis
* thank you sera and sher
* Really love Ya **!thanx 4 being there for me!





Jamie Cullen on the tv!!!whoopeedoo!!

(THIS IS A LONG POST)i think. but its worth every minute of your time.Thank you for your time - chicago

free like bird. Vulnerable to Death. Death rate high.

WTH! im just a normal human being.Just got another compliment by some stranger again. HAHA. this time ask for my hp number! aha. But of course i turn him down. that kind of act is like so brave. Just do it-Nike. haha . I like that. I wish i receive that more often. Sweet. I don't mean to brag, but thats like soo cool.Watever.

Just got back my stupid results.Dont know overall yet. Only got exam marks. so far 2As, 2Bs, and 3Cs.a D for chinese. Failed by a mark. Of course lah. Inever study chinese. Bound to fail. FAILFAILFAIL.I don't even think CA can help. L1R5 is like soo bad lor. think can go ITE.sob. Must buck up already. But i must say got people who got soo high say they got soo low.
HELLO!! MINE IS LIKE SOOOOOOOOOO BAD LOR!!! WTH. fine . I didn't study. So. I WILL IMPROVE!. just let me enjoy bliss first. Better start reading. My english soo chum. BUt my compo i beat alot of people. ahah. YAY. I passed my summary. Thats a relief. But still need to improve better. Realised that Reading is the only way to improve yourself. Truthfully i mean. But i'm soo lazy. If i set my mind to it. I know i can really really read.
But depends on my interest. HOHA.

Sorry doing refelction here. I WILL HELP YOU really speaks to me.yupyup.LMO

chinese i think reading news. But news so hard to understand. Will think of a way. Maths now i know. Everyday must practise. Really i mean it. Everyday practise like for half an hour or so. U can really like get A1. believe you me.

Science. Uhm. I think its not on memorising. Its understanding and then u memorise. It also like geography. but georg is pure memorising. And also keep writing it down. I think. For science is do assesment. Because alot of qns is different. So youmust really do alot. Dont understand. Ask Teacher. aha.

Felt betrayed by a friend. Really too much lor. Say behind my back. Like as if im death. But now i know. Dont want to share this stupid relationship with that person. Somemore i heard this for myself. But i must always make my own decision. im not a mute. But as blind as a bat to ever follow you. WITHA LARGE EXTENT. speaking of humanties, the only way to study ss and history. I think is ten years series. But who am i to comment. i failed ss but passed history. but of course i learnt my mistake. Which is to uhm. Research. especially source based. That one i think u do ass. then ask teacher to explain to you. i think that helps. Mayb. Must try new method.

Just be myself. -Charis .With much thanx and praises to her. I realized my mistake. Her book that she wrote herself. Should really be bestseller. Its soo inspiring. To a christian or non-christian. Her church study is good. Great and well inspiring. I MEAN IT PATRICK!!hohoho.

really must recommend that book. But got somethings not to be read. I read that. Forgive and forget. AHA.
Next to comment: What the hell is wrong with adult books these days. the use of vulgarities and sexual pleasure. ( FOR MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY) . what is wrong. I don't understand lorh.I mean i read that like alot of times. Mayb becos its very adultish. haah. but mayb how they express the language alot. I don't know. Adults will be adults. esp braokback mountain. GAYNESS IS ENCOURAGED> YOU'VE GOT TO BE SCREWING ME!that also can be a hit. hit my ass lah.haaha

( my points is not to be discriminating anything . Is an expression.Believe you me)

Thanx to yah uhm him. for all the encouragement and appreciation. Thanx alot. really those days busy. haha.Thank you.Really mean it a 100%. True to your heart. You must be true to your heart. -98 degrees and Stevie wonder. I Love You. Why is it soo hard to say these three words.-I not stupid 2 ahaha.

And a happy birthday to allmarch-april girls and boys around the world. Crap.

I agree with hui chin to a big extent. why should there be like a stupid river between the cooler and less quieter people. Can people just co-operate. Shameful. Just talk lah. Go out together and have fun. Then u wll see their true self and next u will realize that that person can actually be fun and loud. heck that will happen.why must there be groups and crap. and what a group of even soo nobody is left out. learn to know each other lah. Mayb like every persons birthday go celebrate as a class or something. like play a game like truth or dare together. Crap wth. im just expressing my point. then just correct me. Liberate me.

CRAP IS WHAT I MEAN>) too strong for too long.

who am i kidding. nobody will listen to me. Or watever.

Live and let live.


-love, Amanda.

Sunday morning. I've been slow on sunday morning.- Maroon 5

bad news:
_______________

1)CONDUCTOR LEAVES BAND:
According to yesterdays events, it is confirmed that Mr Darren Sim, former conductor of NVSS, left school for many reasons.
i was shocked,saddened by the news, but still life goes on...
Heard that many of the seniors cried. I did not go as was with other friend. News was suddden and i almost broke down.There is no justice in this world.


2)HELPLESS VS. HELPFUL:
I hate to help people without bing helped in return. I have like helped like friends but now, i feel sad. Usually u wont be happy to make someone's day, but this is just too much. Bringing joy to someone's life without receiving one is a very horrible feeling. this is what i am feeling now..Mayb im too sensitive, but is my life just gonna be like that forever?


3)INVISIBILTY DOES NOT HELP
Feel like there is no cure for this feeling, not power. But will change this when in JC..if i can. Something happened during class. there is like this unbreakable thin ice barrier around me. sometimes good, sometimes bad. dont really feel like elaborating on this matter.


4)STRESS, PRESSURE, ANXIETY, HOW MUCH MORE DO I NEED?
TESTS ARE COMING. lIKE ALMOST ALL SUBJECTS NEXT WEEK. sure we've got a weekend. but 3 days for like a biliion tests? I don't think so.

in other news,

Good News:
______________

1) made more money than last years during chinese new year. Also became much more sociable than bfore during CNY.Thats what i think..if only 20% of my ang pow money can use for own purpose,...like shopping and stuff. mayb get a makeove. Btw, i am DYING for a makeover.

2) met new friends. maybe im crazy or bored ..i dunno..but i does brighten up my day. Should not think negative..




spongebob now very sad..but always ..

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE.